[FLARES] Things I Learned After A Hurricane

[BALDYBAER at aol.com]

Things I learned after a hurricane:

* Coffee  and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.
* No matter how many times you  flick the switch, lights don't work
without electricity.
* Kids can  survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller in
their  hand.
* Cats are even more irritating without power.
* He who has the  biggest generator wins.
* Women can actually survive without doing their  hair--you just wish
they weren't around you.
* A new method of  non-lethal torture - showers without hot water.
* There are a lot more stars  in the sky than most people thought.
* TV is an addiction and the withdrawal  symptoms are painful. One day at
a time, brother.
* A 7 lb bag of  ice will chill 6-12 oz Budweiser's to a drinkable
temperature in 11  minutes, and still keep a 14-pound turkey frozen for 8
more hours.
*  There are a lot of trees around here.
* Flood plan drawings on some mortgage  documents were seriously wrong.
* Contrary to most Florida natives' beliefs,  speed limit on roads
without traffic lights does not  increase.
* Aluminum siding, while aesthetically pleasing, is definitely  not
required.
* Just because you're over 21 doesn't mean you can  stay out as late as
you want. At least that's what the cops told me  during a curfew stop.
* Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the  sound of 14
generators.
* People will get into a line that has  already formed without having any
idea what the line is for.
* When  required, a Chrysler 300M will float--doesn't steer well, but
floats  just the same.
* Some things do keep the mailman from his appointed  rounds.
* Tele-marketers function no matter what the weather is doing.
*  Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as  the
battery remains charged.
* 27 of your neighbors are fed from a  different transformer than you,
and they are quick to point that  out!
* Laundry hampers were not made to contain such a volume.
* If I had  a store that sold only ice, chainsaws, gas, and
generators...I'd be  rich.
* The price of a bag of ice rises 200% after a hurricane.
* Your  water front property can quickly become someone else's  fishing
hole.
* Tree service companies are under appreciated.
* I  learned what happens when you make fun of another state's blackout.
* MATH  101: 30 days in month, minus 6 days without power equals 30%
higher  electric bill ?????
* Drywall is a compound word, take away the "dry" part  and it's
worthless.
* I can walk a lot farther than I  thought.