[Fists] Oopps. Sorry, mates!

[K0HB H. Brakob]

Dear Friend,

It becomes my painful duty to write you a letter 
of apology instead of sending you the Christmas 
remembrance that I had intended for you. 

Knowing so well the appetites, likes and dislikes 
of my close friends, I made up a list of twelve of my best 
friends and went down and bought twelve quarts of "Royal 
Canadian" twelve-year-old whiskey. Nothing but the very 
finest for my friends. I took this home and put it in my 
closet and intended to put it up in nice Christmas packages 
and send it out to you just before Christmas.

My XYL, K0CKB, fastest fist on Weston Lane, got to 
fumbling around in the  closet and found the liquor and 
didn't understand just what I intended to do with it. So she 
came up and told me to empty the contents of every bottle 
down the sink,  or else. So I proceeded with the unpleasant 
task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured 
the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass 
which I drank. I extracted the cork of the second bottle 
and likewise poured the contents down the sink, with the 
exception of the glass which I drank. I pulled the sink from 
the next bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink 
out of it and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the 
sink out of the next glass and poured the cork from the bottle. 
Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and 
drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house 
with one hand and counted the bottles, corks, glasses, and 
sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine. And, as the 
houses came by, I counted them again and finally had all 
the houses and bottles and corks and glasses and sinks counted, 
except one house which I drank.

So this accounts, dear friends, for your not 
receiving a more stimulating Christmas present than this 
letter. I sincerely hope that from some other source you 
get all the joys and happiness that come from Christmas 
remembrances. 

"May the Lord take care of you, but not too soon."

K0HB & K0CKB