[EIDXA] Contesting Station

[Jim Spencer]

>From W0SSR:


How wonderfully advanced the new ham contest stations are now, with
operators reaching maximum scores through machine-like precision! A few
buttons are pushed by the contest operator to send callsigns and
automatically generate signal report numbers. Computers log and check
everything, rotate beams, switch antennas, and even QSY in response to a
rare DX cluster spot.

Well, the time is now, to take contesting to the next logical step in ham
radio evolution: eliminate the human factor entirely!

Enter the ultimate appliance: the Automated Contesting Robot (ACR)

Automated Contesting Robot, containing the most advanced computing power
available, is so much better suited to contesting than humans are. ACR
doesn't need a human to press the start and stop button, because the
time/date of the contest is automatically downloaded from contesting
websites.  ACR roams all the amateur bands freely, quickly and efficiently
exchanging reports with other ACRs... and ACR is so much more capable of
exchanging accurate and truthful signal reports than humans. After all,
computers don't make duplicate QSO errors! ACR doesn't take it personally if
a frequency is already in use, or if another ACR tries to take over its
frequency... ACR simply increases transmitter power, swings the beam, or
QSYs.

ACR doesn't get weary during long 48 hour contests. As Automated Contesting
Robots become fully utilized by every great contest operator in the world,
the duration of contests will be expanded to weeks, months, or even the
entire year. Just think, contest lovers, we can soon look forward to
continuous contests on the ham bands!

ACR does all the preparation for a contest beforehand, without
procrastination. The stored credit card information entered by the purchaser
of the ACR is used for other functions:

1. ACR orders the 6-over-6 stacked beams required for every band and emails
contracts to construction crews for installation of the entire contesting
station hardware system.

2. ACR orders the IC-7800s and high powered amplifiers for each band and has
them installed by qualified technicians.

3. Of course, from time to time, the ACR would also order hardware upgrades
for itself, such as 100GB of RAM to continue to operate at full potential.

And ACR takes care of all that messy after-contest work before resetting for
the next contest:

1. ACR exchanges databases with all other ACRs in the world, comparing
scores within microseconds.
2. ACR orders the immediate delivery of award plaques and gold trophies
online, which are Fedex'd overnight to the "Contest Operator" for instant
gratification.

The mundane chores of contesting are now completely solved by the ACR
appliance, leaving the ACR owner to maintain high standings amongst the
ranks of the World's Greatest Contest Operators, while basking in the
eternal adoration of fellow hams.

73---Bonnie Crystal KQ6XA