[Boatanchors] QST Submission

[Duane Fischer, W8DBF]

Sometimes RF Can Be A Little Squirrelly!



Duane B. Fischer, W8DBF



Today a neighbor I have never met, who barely speaks

English, came to my door. He thought his house was haunted

and had heard from some kids on the street that a blind

Magician lived in the gold ranch with brown trim. His

thirteen year old daughter was with him and helped with the

translation.

About ten days ago while he was watching a football game

on TV the channels suddenly began to cycle. While he was

trying to get the cable system back on ESPN with the remote,

he heard his wife start to scream from the kitchen. The

upright self propelled electric vacuum cleaner had turned

itself on and was going down the hall on its own! The garbage

disposal kept starting and stopping and the florescent light

tube over the combination kitchen sinks was flashing!

The daughter had been in the bathroom getting ready for

a trip to the movies with friends. She was drying her middle

of the shoulder blades black hair with the hair dryer when it

suddenly started to smoke and spit out sparks! Her hair was

just damp enough to keep it from catching on fire, but the

sparks left singed spots all over the place.

The family pet, a not too bright Poodle, had one of

these special collars that gives the animal a little shock

when they hit the property boundary lines. The dog was in the

house at the time and was running for all it was worth,

yelping at the top of its lungs, jumping up and down and

urinating as it went around the house like it was a road race

course for a Grand Prix event!

The garage door was opening and closing on its own and

their car with one of those remote starter units was happily

idling away alternately locking and unlocking its doors.

The alarm systems in the house all dialed 911 and they

had police cars, fire engines, the utility company emergency

gas leak crew and a State Police SWAT team show up!

The father was absolutely convinced I had put some sort

of curse upon them because his oldest son had lost control of

their SUV and flattened my mailbox just after midnight a week

ago and denied it to the police, even though an officer found

the flag for the mailbox stuck in the broken left rear tail

light assembly! Being as the kid was only ten, the police did

not arrest him.

This guy was on his knees out here Begging and pleading

with me to take the curse off his house and family. He

offered me his teenage daughter and some cash. I don't know

how much, as it was in some currency I am not familiar with.

What do they use in Armenia anyhow? The girl seemed very

eager to be traded, and I think I know why!

I finally was able to convince him that I was not a

'real' Magician, like in the old country, and I did not put

curses on people. I invited them in and showed them some

video clips of different performances. He seemed satisfied

and the

pitch of his voice dropped considerably. The girl offered to

stay anyhow, just in case there might be a little curse or

something. I explained to her that in this country it was not

legal for an old man, like me, to have a young girl, like

her, living with him. She started to cry and said she was

almost fourteen and would I reconsider when she was? I wished

them well and they left.

The next day the fire trucks went rolling down the

street and stopped there. I guess everyone was alright, but

the house sustained minor structural damage and considerable

smoke damage. My cousin who is on the township fire

department, a

volunteer force, told me that the investigator thinks it was

caused by Red Squirrels in the attic chewing on the

electrical wiring. Probably causing the neutral to lose

ground, putting 240 volts on the 120 volt circuits.

The strange events in the house prior to the fire, the

so called haunting, were caused by the house wiring acting as

a large coil which was transmitting RF. No ghosts, no aliens

and no magical spells! Just some Red Squirrels gnawing on

electrical wiring throughout the attic and transmitting

without a license. I wonder if I should report them to Riley

Hollingsworth of the FCC?



Original: June 1, 2004 Based on a true occurrence



Duane Fischer, W8DBF - WPE8CXO
E-Mail: dfischer at usol.com
Hallicrafters web site: www.w9wze.net
HHRP web site: hhrp.w9wze.net



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