[Boatanchors] Join Halli Sunday 20 Meter Net

[Duane Fischer, W8DBF]

Please join us on Sunday January 22nd for the HHI 20 meter Net. We had a

great group that participated last Sunday, hopefully we can do even better

tomorrow.

For whatever the reason, I am not hearing any stations in the northwest and

upper midwest.

The time: 12:30 - 2:00 PM EST/EDT or 1730-1900 UTC.

The frequency: still and forever - 14.293 MHZ USB +/- for Key Clicks, Mike

Splatter and double dribble from our neighbors on .295 For reasons that I do

not quite comprehend, the NCS in CO is not terribly strong when I am on .295

But he is certainly WIDE! He is stronger on .293 then he is on .295! Now why

is that?

NEWS ALERT! The old legal limit amplifier has been healed! She blew a

limiting resistor. It was hard to find, but K1ND, Dr. Jan and W8KY, Jim

(former Heathkit engineer who designed and built the TWOER and others)

finally found the culprit. Hopefully with more then double the fire in the

wire you who have had difficulty in copying me through the splatter will be

able to hear me. She will be back on Sunday January 29th.

Here is hoping to hear many of you tomorrow!

Listen Up Gramps, I'll Teach You The Right Way To Hurl!



By Duane B. Fischer, W8DBF



I was just crawling out from under my ham shack desk on

my hands and knees, when my grandson charged into the room

like a Bull that just got the USDA seal burned into his rump!

"Grandpa!", he shouted excitedly. "Can I borrow that

automatic assault rifle you smuggled back from Viet nam in

the Sansui speaker cabinets?" I looked up from among the

five thousand feet of 9913f coax that formed a bizarre

spider's web under my bench. He must have seen the surprised

look on my face as I straightened up and whacked the top of

my head on the edge of the desk. Thud! Thump! "It's ok

Grandpa, it's not bleeding much. Oh, and don't worry, I

haven't told anybody about any of those illegal things you

smuggled back, or about that girl, Viet Nam Vicki."

"Why do you want to borrow my gun?", I asked tentatively

as I adjusted the ice pack on my head. "Remember that little

Chinese boy who move din down the street? The one that

didn't speak much English and tried to boil the rubber

chicken?" I grunted and tried to smile. "Well he's a lot

older now and is really smart in electronics. He built this

laser projection device and won the sixth grade science fair.

He brought it over today and we have been using it to project

fly's over the Frog pond. the Frogs are going nuts leaping

into the air and snapping at fly's that aren't even there!

It is so funny Grandpa. too bad you are blind and can't see

it!" Kids! See no evil, speak no evil, and tell the butt

naked blunt truth!

"Did I stutter? Why do you want my gun?" Flush! I

just hate it when they leave the room and leave me talking to

myself! "Because I am going to shoot them when they jump

into the air, Grandpa." "Why can't you be like a normal ten

year old and spear them with a sharp spike pounded into an

old broom handle?" I grumbled. "Because my Mother has

forbidden me to so much as touch any sharp object ever

again." I took the ice pack off and brailled my skull. Ouch!

Looked like a chicken laid a double yoke egg up there. "do I

dare ask why you can't touch anything sharp?"

"Well, remember that really chubby kid that used to beat

me up all of the time?" I nodded. "One day I got tired of

being bullied and harpooned him right in his fat ... well you

know!" I snorted, dropped the ice pack and spit the Coke I

had just taken a drink of all over the table.

"Sorry, but you can't shoot Frogs in a residential area

with a machine gun! Go out in the garage, get my old thirty-

six Louisville Slugger and pretend it is batting practice.

Smack! Just like in Frogger when the Semi flattens that Frog

flatter than a three year old girl's chest!" but Grandpa, you

know how many times I struck out in little league! Besides

my friend eats them. They are no good to him if they are

smushed into goo. He makes these really nutritional snack

bars out of them. Here, try one."

I pealed the aluminum foil back, sniffed and took a

little nibble. "Not too bad. Pretty tasty actually." Chomp.

"What does he really use the Frogs for? Fishing bait?" "He

grinds up their livers and intestines, mixes them into a

secret batter and deep fries them. Aren't they good?

Grandpa! You know your not supposed to drink out of the

Pepto Bismol bottle like that! Are you ok? You've got this

funny green color to your skin, kinda like one of those

Frogs."



Original: July 11, 2002. 693 words.

FROGS20.LIT



Duane Fischer, W8DBF - WPE8CXO
E-Mail: dfischer at usol.com
Hallicrafters web site: www.w9wze.net
HHRP web site: hhrp.w9wze.net