[Boatanchors] Frogzilla Returns To Halli Sunday 20M Net

[Duane Fischer, W8DBF]

                      HHI: HALLI WEB SITE: WWW.W9WZE.NET

             HALLIGAN'S HALLICRAFTERS INTERNATIONAL 20 METER NET -

                              SUNDAY FEBRUARY 8TH

PRE-NET: 12:45 PM EST, 1745 UTC.
HHI NET: 1:15 PM EST, 1815 UTC.
FREQUENCY: 14.293 MHZ USB +/- FOR KEY CLICKS, MIKE SPLATTER AND ADJACENT
CHANNEL MULTI LINGUAL DRIBBLE, DISASSOCIATED LIP CHATTER, VARIABLE VOICE 
PITCH
BABBLING AND ASSORTED QRM DIRECT FROM THE VERY DARKEST EDGES OF YOUR NEURON
PERIMETER BOUNDRY OF CONSCIOUS AWARENESS. ONE NEURON FARTHER AND YOU ARE
EITHER DEAD OR ASLEEP, DEPENDING ON WHICH SCHOOL OF PHILOSOPHICAL THOUGHT 
YOU
BELIEVE YOU CAN BELIEVE IN! JOIN US AND LEARN WHERE THE 'GLOW' REALLY GOES,
UNDERSTAND WHY ALL VACUUMS DO NOT SUCK AND THAT TO BE ADRIFT IS NOT ALWAYS A
SIGN OF A MIND THAT IS OUT OF FOCUS AND READY FOR A NEURON ALIGNMENT FONE BY 
A
'MRI' SUCKING ALL THE IRON IN YOUR RED BLOOD CELLS TO BE IN AN ASTRONOMICAL
CONJUNCTION WITH THE MAGNETIC NORTH POLE! SO TURN DOWN THE LIGHTS OF 
ELECTRIC,
PULL THE SHADES AND PUT OUT THE LIGHT OF SUN AND JOIN US WHERE THE GLOW 
STILL
GROWS AND ALL RADIUM FREE GLOWS COME FROM VINTAGE RADIOS THAT WILL STILL 
GLOW
WHEN THE SUN BECOMES A RED GIANT AND THEN A WHITE DWARF. THE QUESTION IS, 
WHAT
THE HECK HAPPENED TO SNOW WHITE?


Yo Humans, it is I, Frogzilla! Mr. Super Amphibian, the merry mighty
marsh myth come to life and coming to a big pond 'near' you!
So get your quad wheelers inside that old underground atom bomb shelter your
late Aunt Ima Doofus, had built in the late fifties to protect her from the
over the North Pole intercontinental atomic missiles that the Russians had
aimed at the USA. Remember it? She paid for it with the money she raised by
selling embalmed Rats as Halloween toys and those Coon skin hats with that 
odd
tail!  Hide your cash, stock certificates, bloated buldging at the belt line
piggy banks, jewelry, coin and stamp collections, retirement funds
and anything else you can redeem at a bank, antique dealer or pawn shop!

Then send all those beautiful sexy females off to a Convent somewhere in 
Tibet
that as yet has not been discovered by a Cryptozoologist, or is it a
Cartographer? One of those dudes who draws maps for that Rand McNutty 
'Where's
De Road?' Atlas travel guide. But right now, we have a problem. So blow your
nose to clear your sinuses, and those logic free cobwebs of preoccupied
thought, so you can like pay attention!  Just be careful not to blow your
brains out in the process!  CROAK!

At this very moment, 2:52 AM EST Sunday February 8th, the blind dude is 
AWOL,
MIA or simply put, missing! As much as I detest having to admit it, I am
worried enough that my hyde has had some pigment changes that make me look
like bleached Spinich!

It is so close to a for real blizzard outside, that I just saw one of those
large St. Bernard rescue dogs with a two gallon wood barrel of ginger 
flavored
brandy hanging from a glow in the dark chain around his neck! He was on
motorized snow skis with a two meter whip antenna sticking out the top of 
his
knitted florescent red ski hat!

The southeastern part of Michigan is getting hammered by old man Winter with 
a
vengence! The wind is howling like the neighbor's cat did when it got its 
tail
caught in the intake conveyer belt of the gas powered automatic leaf 
mulcher.
It spit out a neatly tied bail of leaves, piececes of shrubs and
grass clippings along with the head of old "Dip Stick", the feline,
looking rather dazed and glassy eyed. Dead actually! But quiet at last!

I can hear excited Hams calling in their Snowflake depth reports on the 
blind
dude's 1974 eight channel Bearcat #3 xtal controlled scanner and it is 
coming
down at a rate of more than one inch per hour. If we don't find him, maybe
I will have to assume radio control duties. If so, that pebble filled back 
and
buttock support pillow of his has got to go! Every time I sit in the NCS 
chair
it feels as if a Cat Tail has been inserted in my ... Well, you know!

     Rumors are circulating around faster then the infamous "kisser's 
Disease"
coldsore virus, that the blind dude has vanished himself.  That initself is
nothing to get a foot fungus over, as professional Magicians have a habit of
making things vanish, including themselves! As well as reappear,
metamorphosize, change color and so forth. But no self-respecting Magician
ever leaves home without an edge shaved deck of playing cards, a two headed
quarter and a pair of loaded dice! But he left his emergency road travel bag
of assorted magical wands here, along with clean underwear and white cotton
socks! Now that is reason enough to cause the 'one eyed' Jack to get contact
lenses! Or the 'man with the axe' to get his blade sharpened so that he 
could
cut a deck cleanly! CROAK!

     There have been some reports that he beat feet for the airport with his
Laser enhanced White Cane when the NOAA blizzard alarm went off.  Some say 
he
has been busier than an Everglades gator when the fan powered tourist 
pontoon
thing hit one of those 90% submerged Sea Cows, who was blissfully
grazing on litter tourists had pitched overboard. It did a complete loop de
loop in the air and came down with the "This Side Ain't Supposed To Be Up
Stupid!" red lettering on the pontoons clearly visible to the rescue 
choppers
who were soon overhead!  Meanwhile the gator, and Shark friends he had
paged courtesy of Sea World, were enjoying an all they could eat
Homo Sapien sea food buffet.  Yuck!

     The blind wonder had commandeered a modified Air Hover, Land Rover and
sea Ski Sled craft. He was trying to hear the synthetic voice output of the
navigation GPS receiver over the roar of the Chevy 454 marine engine and 
steer
while using the bald spot on the top of his head for a fix on the sun's
angle to the horizon. He forgot there was no foot clutch and missed the RPM
shift red line! The flywheel exploded, turned the splatter guard into filet 
of
junk, tied the camshaft into a figure eight type pretzel and put one piston
into low earth orbit!

     If you can't find W8DBF by following the blue haze rolling out of the
tailpipe as he breaks the new set of rings in, and gets paid by the county 
for
mosquito control, then try to raise somebody, anybody with at least a 
General
class ticket! Otherwise, have no fear dudes, as the big frog be
here! Frogzilla will light those things that still go glow in the dark and
launch some radio waves into the sea of sky.

     Gotta hop! Just got a landline from the local airport security people
that the blind dude could not get a ride to his QTH by taxi due to the
blizzard, so he rented a Snow Ski Drift Buster!  I'm off to search for "The
Amazing One" before he becomes an ice sculpture.  I have this vision of his
well traveled, it used to be a white White Cane, sticking out of a
snowbank.  With the anti-slip rubber golf grip that kept sliding down until 
he
got really mad one day and crammed his wad of Double Trouble Bubble gum 
inside
it with a popsicle stick he sharpened with his pocket knife.  Never slipped
again, but he took two layers of skin off the palm of his hand trying to let
go of it! Then there was the time he snapped the florescent red nylon tip
right off the cane when he smacked and whacked that candy vending machine 
that
ate his last quarter after some circus fat lady sat on his sack
lunch and flattened it out like a burger that tangled with a yard roller! I
sure hope he is alright, as if anything like happens to the blind wonder, 
I'll
lose a good human friend and ...  If he's gone, like who will I steal spare
pond scum filter parts from? Or swipe their burger off the gas grill
while it is still mooing? Or borrow a HF vertical from to use as a launch
vehicle to fling myself a hundred feet through the air so I can splash down 
in
the pond? Or, ... Damn! I might have to get a job! This is bad, very bad! 
Sure
hope I can find him before he ends up in one of those wax museums! Or
even worse, hanging up by stainless steal meat hooks, one pair per ear,
in a walk in frozen meat locker accented by twin swinging glass doors! Worse
yet, discovering him at DQ all neatly laid out in one of those Blizzard 
things
with gigantic red Cherries stuffed into each hairy nostril and whipped cream
covering that bald spot on the top of his head!"

Hold your horsepower! Throw the anchor overboard, drag your feet, just stop! 
I
just found the blind wonder sound asleep in his favorite recliner! The 
blasted
Weather Channel is running footage from this Winter's "Super Snowflake 
Storms"
!  Reruns! Weather reruns no less! Is nothing sacred anymore? What next, 
Jack
Frost endorsing ice cream treats? Sorry. Guess I should have looked outside
instead of believing what I saw on the Weather Channel! I hope their Dopler
RADAR shorts out and vaporizes their briefs, boxers or bikini bun warmers!
CROAK!


Frogzilla

Original: February 5, 2006


Duane Fischer, W8DBF - WPE8CXO
E-Mail: dfischer at usol.com
Hallicrafters web site: www.w9wze.net
HHRP web site: hhrp.w9wze.net