[Boatanchors] Join HCI Sunday 20 Meter Net!

Sun Feb 13 02:00:54 EST 2005

All vintage gear is welcome - If it doesn't hum or drift, then fake it!	

Please join us on Sunday February 13th for the HCI 20 meter Net. We have some
vintage Hallicrafters devotees who have questions on the SR-400a and HT-32b.
They have questions, do you have answers? 	

The pre-Net will commence at 12:45 PM EST, (1745 UTC). For those of you who
believe in 'come early - leave early' I will be on the air warming the electrons
up with some old USAF isometrics I learned while training in high school for the
CANUSA games. Join me then, but you better be in a sweat suit, at 12:20 PM EST,
(1720 UTC).	

The Net proper will begin at 1:15 PM EST, (1815 UTC). 	

The frequency will be 14.293 MHZ usb +/- for key clicks, mike splatter and the
hacking and sputtering sound of this electronic robotic self-animated vacuum my
kids gave me for Christmas. It is supposed to vacuum your house all by itself.
You just sit back and try to stay the heck out of its path! Now it senses a dog
or a cat and blows this tug boat fog horn to alert them it is coming and they
should move or be flea free and furless!  Yet it seems oblivious of humans
taller than sixty inches! (that is five feet for the math challenged among us!)
I discovered this the first time I powered it up with the remote control while
standing in the hall. It was in the kitchen on the linoleum aimed toward the
living room. As soon as it came to life, it made a few little noises like those
sensors on the Enterprise from Star Trek, spun its little dish antenna in
several complete circles, got a GPS lock, did an abrupt 180 turn and roared
toward the hall! Being totally blind I did not see it coming, but I did notice
this very loud chewing sound like a farm field combine that never learned any
table manors while growing up! I quickly side stepped to my left into the
bathroom as this thing went by me like the Indy 500 pace car!	

It charged into my thirteen year old grandson's room, stopped, looked around, or
whatever those robotic things do, scanned the area? Made this sound like a
garbage truck gagging and abruptly raced back out, hung a hard right and shot
into the Ham shack. Fearing trouble, I grabbed the closest thing I had to a mil
surplus bazooka, a Louisville Slugger baseball bat with a concussion grenade
held on by adjustable tailpipe sinch straps! Made it out of some July fourth
colored round balls that you throw on the concrete and the concussion causes
them to explode. We used to call them Cracker Balls, who knows what they call
them today? Put about fifty of them on a piece of 2X2 rubber inner tube I cut
out with my ex-wife's pinking shears and covered with contact cement!	

By the time I got into the Ham shack the robotic vacuum had sucked the water and
mold resistant pyle right out of the carpeting in several spots and was under
the operating desk attacking the black snake's nest of 9913F coax! I hit every
button that stupid remote had and not a one of them would turn that thing off!
Although I did manage to increase the suction, activate some kind of deodorizing
scent thing that smelled only slightly better than a Skunk who had been eating
Taco Ding Dong leftovers from the garbage and was now trying to shampoo the
carpeting and then blow dry it! I was getting desperate, so I hit some more
buttons on that little credit card size remote. yes! It suddenly powered down.
Success! The feedline was saved! It was going to be a really good day for the
HCI Net! 		

Wrong! It was only changing its cleaning implements from the carpet brush to the
sidewalk edger? Hey! Nobody told me this thing did sidewalk expansion strip sod
busting! It roared back to life, spun the antenna around a few times, got
another GPS lock, emitted what I would swear was audio from the Sci Fi channel
where the movie Short Circuit was playing, made some sounds that I know were the
ones those old Star Trek phaser hip shooting things made as they vaporized the
bad Aliens and and started to put a trench in my three quarter inch plywood
sub-floor!	

this was just too much, gift or not, it had to go. I stomped on the remote to
get its attention, it sensed dirt and rushed over to suck it up. Just as it got
within homerun range, I let it have it right between the flashing red and green
LED's with the bat. Kaboom! That concussion patch went off like a whole gross of
Black Cat firecrackers exploding at once! Beautiful orangeish yellow fireball!
Didn't like those drapes anyhow! The robotic vacuum fell silent, parts rained
down, smoke rolled out of the CPU air induction cooling screen and the electric
motor impeller rpm hit zero. Other than the coax having been stripped of all
insulation for the six meter vertical, the coax to the GAP Titan having been
tied in knots not to be found in the Boy Scout manual, the carpeting now having
several drainage ditches in case of a flood, the several places where the black
foam padding now showed where the light gold plush pyle once was and a piece of
still smoldering elastic waist band where my nice neat stack of clean Fruit Of
The Loom briefs  had been in storage by the external speaker cabinet, everything
was great! I picked the robotic vacuum up and started down the hall toward the
ever hungry waiting fifty gallon trash can by my backdoor.  		

I got the back door open and was just starting to carry the robotic dust sucking
self-propelled gift outside when it came back to life! I dropped it like a hot
baked potato wrapped in aluminum foil somebody took off the grill and yelled
"Catch!" It hit the back step, rolled over several times, landed on its wheels
like it had some Cat memories in its RAM, shot out a suction hose and grabbed my
T-shirt! One of you may have to take the HCI Net today, as this sucker is
reeling in the flexible hose with me still attached and thatconglomeration of
spinning brushes, beater balls, carpet pyle pluckers and rotating junk grinder
is about to remove my naval! So if I can't get this T-shirt cut off with my
trusty Swiss Army knife before ...	

Duane Fischer, W8DBF	
NCS: Hallicrafters Collectors International	
Netcontrol at w9wze.org	
HCI Web Site: http://www.w9wze.org	
Site Contributions: WebMaster at w9wze.org