[Boatanchors] Yes! HCI Net Christmas Day! Santa Will Be NCS

[Duane Fischer]

"Yo fellow Hams, this is NP11RED calling CQ CQ CQ from the North Pole. How
copy?	
	
The WX here is colder than a Seal's rump after sitting on the frozen pond
just north of Santa's greenhouse having used it to melt a hole in the ice
to do some fishing! The wind is howling louder than Mrs. Claus pet Siberian
Cat, Snowball, after she got her twenty-eight inch tail caught in the
pretzel twisting machine! Her tail is a lot shorter now that it looks like
a sine wave! The snow is falling faster than the share prices on the stock
market did when the wire services broke the story about Burger Kingdom
getting busted by the FDA for flame broiling their burgers with military
surplus jet turbine engines burning Kentucky Moonshine! All this time you
thought that odd taste to the beef paddy was because of them using recycled
catsup recovered from the dumpster behind Wendy's! It is just the perfect
WX for Santa, my eight Reindeer compatriots and I to hoof it up, up and
away to deliver some toys to good little girls and boys! In case you are
living on a desolate island with no calendar, it is Christmas Eve 2005!
Over. Over. NP11RED standing by." 		
	
"Herbie, Herbie NP11RED, this is NP22FTS. Q5 all the way, full quieting,
good copy OM. I'll be at Santa's QTH just as soon as I finish running down
the two teenage males I'm thumpety thump thump in pursuit of. They tried to
flatten my XYL Crystal by running over her with one of those super charged
snowmobiles! Fortunately Jack Frost was nearby programming his amphibious
snow generator for the traditional magical snow of Christmas eve and
Christmas morn, saw them and blew his icy breath underneath the driver's
punk rock putrid pink woven ski hat freezing both ears more solid than a
Fruitsicle that has spent too much time lying on a block of frozen Carbon
Dioxide, or dry ice. I think I can break off pursuit now Rudolph, they are
headed for the Canadian Mounties horse barn manure pile! They won't be hard
to spot, since the one punk's ears both fell off and the other punk picked
them up and put them in his snowmobile suit glove pocket! Keep my seat cold
NP11RED, NP22FTS clear and thumping your way."         	
	
"Herbie, Herbie NP22FTS, AKA North Pole #22 Frosty The Snowman. I'm going
to go QRT as it is time for the Sunday December 25th HCI 20 meter pre-Net
at 12:45 PM EST, or 1745 UTC. Remember Frosty, the Net proper starts at
1:15 PM EST, or 1815 UTC. So QSY with VFO #1 to the Sleigh operating
frequency and keep the dual watch on and VFO #2 on 14.293 MHZ usb +/- for
"key clicks, mike splatter and and the sound of ... That ain't frozen
flakes dancing on my roof!" Ya gotta love that mixed bag of partly crazy
and partly amazing blind dude that runs the HCI Nets! NP11RED, AKA North
Pole
#11 Rudolph Eliminates Doubters is clear and QSY. 73's all, and to all a
good flight!"		
	
"Are you sure that one hundred and five microwaveable cheeseburger deluxe
with extra onions and dill pickles is going to be enough Santa?" "Yes
momma. Remember that those people from that medicla ship the US Hope told
me that if I wanted to live another five hundred years I had to cut down on
the animal fats, increase my vegetable portions and double my fiber
intake?" Mrs. Claus smiled. "Since when did Santa Claus start taking orders
from anyone?" Santa grinned so wide that he nearly split a lip! "Did you
see that nurse, I think she was the dietitian?" Mrs. Claus set the bright
red Delicious apple she had been polishing with her apron down on the
cupboard. "See her? No. But the way you are smiling Santa I'll bet she is
the same one who is in that digital photo on your desk that looks like the
Playboy centerfold for December!" Santa grinned that grin that would calm a
volcano about to belch molten lava and cremate a forest! "Yep! But I am
taking her advice so I can keep all those perverted Elves with a crush on
you away for the next half of a century! Ho! Ho! Ho!" "Really? Then get
your hand out of that cookie jar before I put some lumps on your head with
this rolling pin! Now get going and have a good flight. Remember to stay
out of those no fly zones over the Middle East this year, OK? I don't want
you coming back with singed eyebrows and the spare sleigh runner shot off
by some heat seeking missile this Christmas!" Santa kissed her, picked up
the lunchbox and staggered toward the door. "Are you using Texas Toast for
my burgers? This thing weighs a ton!"	
	
So tune in tomorrow on Christmas Sunday and hear NP01SC live on the HCI 20
meter Net as he shares NCS duties with me. Meanwhile, Merry Christmas to
ALL and to all, make it a good night!	
	
Duane Fischer, W8DBF	
NCS: Hallicrafters Collectors International	
netcontrol at w9wze.org