[Boatanchors] Sunday HCI Columbus Day Salute

[Duane Fischer, W8DBF]

Greetings mates! Ship ahoy and swab them decks you salty mutts! The Sunday
October 12th 20 meter Net will be honoring Christopher Columbus, so bail your
butts out of the water bed, pull up those main sails, along with your boxer
shorts, and chew on a hardtack breakfast biscuit and wash it down with some pale
English ale. (Because the French have been about as nice to us as a teenage boy
with a fly swatter trying to see if he can compress a dragonfly to no more than
one ten thousandth of an inch thick, we are refusing to use their wine for
anything but scrubbing toilet bowls with!)    Those rocks of dough are
guaranteed to clean out your pipes and help pay for your dentists summer home in
the Bahamas! 	
	
Belly up to the Captain's table at 12:45 PM EDT, (1645 UTC) for the pre-Net, and
spear yourself a piece of sidepork with some of those thick as wire brush
bristles in your beard. Chew on that while you try to get the square knots out
of the rope ladder so you can climb up to the porta-john hanging precariously
over the starboard side of the deck so you can empty your ballast tank before it
explodes like an over inflated pig bladder somebody kicked with sharp toenails! 
  	
	
Then walk the plank in suspense as you wait for the actual Net to begin at 1:15
PM EDT, (1715 UTC), watching the hungry Sharks swimming in circles below with
razor sharp white teeth gleaming like the bathtub before your kids got in for
their Saturday night bath! A great mobile garbage disposal unit with no
preference for race, creed, religion or crooked tan lines!  Swing into your deck
chair mate and baton down your buttocks for the start of the HCI Sunday Net!  		
	
Polish up your eye piece on your brown as dried Cow dung canvas tank top, if you
can find a spot that is neither sweat soaked or speckled with that stuff that
keeps dripping out of your left nostril you told the ship's alchemist was from
an allergy to Tuna pancakes, and set the rx for 14.293 Mhz usb +/- for key
clicks, mike splatter and the sound of sea sick men hurling the contents of
their stomachs farther than the circus fat lady's miracle one size fits all
stretch pants can expand!      	
	
If you don' know your port from your starboard sides, then you are probably the
guy the ship's sanitary engineering steward is looking  for with a freshly honed
meat cleaver who peed in his potted Petunias and turned them into yellow
Daffodils! If you are the crows nest lookout who peered through his telescope
and saw the tattoo of the first mate's wife burned into his left thigh and
shouted "Ahoy! Whale to stern, Whale to stern!", you are the one the party of
five brandishing sharpened petrified bananas is looking for with orders to hang
him by his tongue from the rigging! If you are the blind cabin boy who got
caught by the Captain Brailing his daughter inside an empty fifty gallon wooden
dill pickle barrel, rumor has it that rather than letting the ship's mentally
ill butcher and undertaker dissect you for fish bait, he is going to force you
to marry her because she is so ugly that pimples are even afraid to appear on
her skin! If you are the apprentice sail maker who stitched the ship's doctors
hand woven wool underwear to the main sail in the shape of an extended middle
digit of the right hand, be advised he is threatening to stitch your mouth and
anus shut and feed you bean soup with wild Boer's feet in it until you become so
bloated with gas that the wax in your ears is blown out like cannon balls
launched by a black powder blast!   		
	
Please turn your rudder in our direction and navigate over to where those
wonders of Halligan still go glow in the dark. Weigh anchor and join us for some
vacuum tube fun, facts, fantasy and technical tips straight from the ship's
Carpenters copy of Better Boat Anchors By Brother Noah! I hope to hear you above
the roar of the ocean surf, or is it just splatter from the unhappy creatures at
a nearby petting zoo? No matter, warm up those vacuum tubes and blast an
electron path through the crashing surf, foaming white tops and strawberry jelly
fish that gum up everything from tuning capacitors to tube sockets with eight
tentacle receptacles. Propagation or purple Porpoises, I will be stirring the
water at 12:30 PM EDT, (1630 UTC), so join me and take a turn with the RF mix
master!   	
	
Duane Fischer, W8DBF              	
NCS: Hallicrafters Collectors International